Tessa’s identity shift over the course of the novel reflects a common theme for college freshman who leave home for the first time. Eager to experience the new world of college and independence, many students, like Tessa, are apt to try new things and make decisions that are out of character. Tessa begins college confident in her choice of major and academic abilities. She meticulously planned for her future alongside her mother, so the only thing she worries about is making friends. Perhaps her need for friendship and acceptance drives her out-of-character decisions to attend parties, drink, and spend time with Steph’s friends, whom she knows don’t share her values.

Despite warnings from Noah, her mother, and her conscience, Tessa continues making uncharacteristic choices that lead to extensive changes in her life and identity. For example, she cheats on Noah several times, and she does not change her behavior even when Noah gives her a second chance. When she moves in with Hardin, she ignores the voice in her head warning her that she’s too young to move in with someone, had always planned to be married before living with a man, and has only known Hardin for a few months. She shatters several standards she had set for her future as she signs the lease.

Furthermore, her careful planning, academic achievements, and conscientious work ethic change because of Hardin’s influence. He makes fun of her organization, even throwing her notes on the floor and turning off her alarm on different occasions. Tessa also follows his example of skipping class occasionally, and she agrees to have sex with Hardin in her office at Vance. All of these decisions conflict with the girl Tessa used to be, and several people notice the change in her, such as Landon, Steph, Noah, and her mother. Even Tessa notices that she is changing, yet she sees her life with Hardin as liberating and exciting, thinking that perhaps this untamed girl she is becoming is who she’s meant to be.

However, despite Todd’s glamorization of Tessa’s new self under Hardin’s influence, the emotional roller coaster she experiences because of Hardin, as well as the way she treats others, betray the detrimental affect Hardin and his friends have on Tessa. For instance, as she becomes more attached to Hardin, Tessa grows in her aversion toward Molly. Tessa dislikes Molly from the beginning because of her promiscuous behavior and need for attention from men. Ironically, Tessa’s behavior soon comes to mirror Molly’s: She’s willing to drink and party to get Hardin’s attention, seeks out sexual gratification from Hardin despite her relationship with Noah, and uses Zed to make Hardin jealous. In fact, Tessa’s willingness to kiss Zed and go on a date with him is nothing more than a ploy to hurt Hardin. In just a few short months at college, Tessa sinks to the moral level of Hardin and his friends, using Zed to get what she wants without regard for his feelings. Influence from Hardin and his entire friend group results in negative changes in Tessa’s personality and dramatic emotional highs and lows that lead her to foolish decisions.

Todd’s portrayal of sex throughout the novel is arguably unhealthy and unrealistic. She portrays unbridled sexual passion as a necessary component of a relationship, painting Noah as a prude because he’s never had sex with Tessa and because he wants to respect their decision to wait until marriage for sex. For another, she glamorizes Tessa and Hardin’s sexual relationship even though it follows an unhealthy pattern, usually occurring after a heated fight between Tessa and Hardin. In addition, Hardin often uses sex a means to gain power over Tessa; he loves the control he can have over her. These depictions of sex show the immense influence sex can have on one’s emotions, decisions, and relationships.

The majority of Tessa’s relationship with Hardin is based on sexual attraction. Although they do share some similarities and common interests, Tessa and Hardin rarely spend time simply getting to know each other or enjoying day-to-day activities together, especially at the outset of their relationship. From the novel’s beginning, Tessa is drawn to Hardin because of his sensuality and the fiery feeling he gives her when they kiss and touch. As much as she wants to stay in her relationship with Noah, she seemingly cannot resist the sexual electricity between she and Hardin. Since Noah can’t make her body feel as good as Hardin can, she leaves him. Furthermore, even though Tessa had planned to save sex for marriage, she appears to have no trouble compromising her standards with Hardin. Tessa’s choices to pursue Hardin based almost completely on physical sensations reveals the powerful nature of sexual attraction. She’s willing to cheat on and break up with her boyfriend of two years for a guy she hardly knows because of the sexual gratification he gives her.

Tessa and Hardin’s sexual activities often follow a pattern in the novel. They usually seek sexual pleasure from one another after an argument, suggesting that sex helps them release anger and forgive one another. This pattern showcases Hardin’s extreme mood swings, as he uses Tessa as a distraction to relieve his anger. Tessa reflects: “I can sense all of his anger and frustration being transferred into lust and affection” (482). As Hardin’s mood quickly changes, he rapidly jumps from, “angry to lustful to calm” (239). This pattern of behavior reveals the unhealthy nature of their relationship. Sex originates from moments of anger and passion rather than love or tenderness. Furthermore, rather than communicating about issues they face, such as Hardin’s relationship with his father or Tessa and her fight her with mother, they simply attempt to bury their problems in lust and sexual gratification.

Finally, Hardin uses sex as a means to assert power over Tessa. He knows he holds the upper hand because of his sexual experience, and his pursuit of Tessa originates from his desire to win the bet with Zed. Even if his feelings for her are real by the end of the novel, he clearly began their sexual relationship thinking of her as a sexual conquest. His desire for control is also displayed by the way he forces Tessa to tell him what she wants or to agree to listen to him before he will please her. Once he knows she’s under his control, he won’t let her come unless she follows his commands. Although Hardin does treat Tessa with respect the first time they have sex, the majority of their sexual relationship reveals unhealthy patterns and highlights Hardin’s unresolved emotional issues. Even though Tessa is smart and responsible, her sexual chemistry with Hardin is so strong that she makes foolish decisions and allows herself to be manipulated by Hardin. Tessa and Hardin’s sexual relationship reveals the powerful effect sex can have on one’s feelings, choices, and identity.