The theme of coping with grief and letting go is integral to the novel. Julie must grieve Sam multiple times, as she thought he was gone forever before the supernatural phone calls. Julie and Sam must both confront the truth of his passing and that they will be separated forever when the phone calls conclude. In the ending plot twist, Sam admits in his voicemail that he was also avoiding the goodbye:

‘I picked up because—because I needed you. I needed to hear your voice again, Julie. [...] Because I didn’t want to let you go yet. I never wanted to say goodbye, Jules. And I never wanted you to, either. That’s why I stayed as long as I could. So don’t blame yourself for anything. [...] I realize now I made it a lot harder for you to move on. And I hope you forgive me for that. [...] You are my entire world, Julie. And one day, maybe I’ll only be a small piece of yours. I hope you keep that piece. [...] I love you more than you can ever know, Julie. I’ll never forget the time we had together. So please don’t forget me, okay? [...] It would mean so much. You have no idea’ (218).

Although both of their character arcs and conflicts are entwined with this theme that forms the plotline’s core, Sam doesn’t admit that he couldn’t let Julie go either until the end. They are finally able to let go after grieving his loss together.

Up until the final climax, when Julie and Sam have their last call and they feel whole and ready to say goodbye, they are learning to let go of each other. In the beginning, Julie attempts to relieve herself of Sam’s memory and impact on her life by throwing away all remnants of him. She thinks forgetting him will be easier than dealing with the pain, which is a form of destructive suppression that she regrets. Through her journey talking with Sam, getting support from Mika, Yuki, Oliver, her mom, and more, she realizes that she can’t just repress his memories. She also can’t cling to Sam and his calls, though she yearns to, and pretends that they’re going to get back together. Sam calls her out for holding onto their connection as if he’s still alive, worrying she’ll never be ready to let go. Ultimately, Julie learns that she needs to let go, not forget, and that difference is significant.

Like Sam and Julie, others find ways to cope that are best for them. For example, Oliver finds solace in visiting Sam’s grave often. He talks to Sam out loud at the grave, pretending he can hear him. Oliver also takes Julie to the Ellensburg town sign, recalling how he and Sam would chat there and cross the town limit to pretend they were running away from all their problems. Mika reaches out for comfort to people like Julie, family, and friends, but then isolates herself. She and her family honor Sam with an altar and his photo, a custom in their culture. Others write on Sam’s Facebook wall to grieve him. Julie finds peace in writing their story. These examples point to different, useful ways of coping. Thao uses various methods to show how everyone must get through struggles in their own personal ways, as one person’s strategy won’t be effective for another.

Thao uses multiple flashbacks to establish Sam and Julie’s romance, characterization, and highlight their memories. The author inserts chapters with labels of “BEFORE” and others with “NOW” to have a streamlined structure, which bridges the past with the present. In the “BEFORE” sections, the entire chapters include multiple memories between Julie and Sam that flow into each other. Scenes shift from Julie and Sam meeting to spending time at the lake together to hanging out with Mika. Within some chapters, Julie is also triggered by a call with Sam, an item, or an experience—such as walking the campus with the cherry trees—into a flashback, which is written in italics for clarity. The flashbacks highlight Julie and Sam’s romantic relationship and connect the depth of Julie’s suffering after Sam’s death and their yearning to stay connected.

Sam asks Julie if she remembers certain memories, listing many memories they’ve shared with vivid details, repeating that he was worried Julie forgot about him during his calls, particularly the first few. He checks that Julie will remember him, since she threw away his items in an attempted way to cope. Julie thought she could suppress her memories of Sam, but she learns she can’t avoid thinking about him, as her mind turns to Sam often and she holds on tightly to their shared experiences and phone calls. Even Julie’s dreams bring her flashbacks of Sam or remind her that he’s gone, with one dream of them in their imagined future apartment unpacking and others of the night he died. Julie learns to find peace in her most formative memories of love, and not avoid thinking about Sam, but rather cherish their unforgettable time together.

The scenes of flashbacks and memories lead to Julie’s cathartic writing. Instead of avoiding memories about Sam, she absorbs them and digs deeply into them for her stories. By choosing to write about Sam, she honors his memory in the creative way she can while also helping herself heal: “Maybe that’s what I’ll do. Write down the memories of him. Memories of us. Tell our story. Once I decide this, moments from over the years flash across my mind” (121). The concentration on flashbacks deepens their romance, characterization, and recollections, fueling Julie to move forward with her writing project.