You Are a Badass

You Are a Badass is a self-help book by success coach Jen Sincero, published in 2013. Sincero uses casual, blunt language to argue that our failures and obstacles in life are all in our heads, and that success is often just a matter of identifying those bad behaviors and eliminating them.

Sincero opens with a brief introduction in which she recounts her own history of being unaware of her own self-sabotage even as she dealt with plenty of setbacks and failures. She states that the book is not an attempt to make money, but rather an attempt to share the wisdom she accrued over the years dealing with her own problems. She warns that following the advice in the book will probably require going outside your comfort zone.

Sincero then dives into the meat of her book, arguing that our subconscious mind is much more important than we usually realize. Despite being more or less totally unaware of what’s going on in our own subconscious, Sincero states that our subconscious is like a blueprint for our lives, containing all of the beliefs that guide our decisions. If we’re out of touch with our subconscious mind, then we’re being controlled by it.



Sincero then states that the key to a more joyful and purposeful life is being in the moment, being aware of what’s happening both inside and outside yourself. Forcing yourself to be conscious of what’s happening will lead to being open to new experiences and ideas.

Sincero advises us to be aware of our own ego—and to distrust it. For Sincero, our ego is a defense mechanism born out of insecurity about our place in the universe, and it acts to disparage the amazing things around us so we don’t have to feel smaller and less amazing in comparison. Your true self is a ‛superhero,’ based on love and joy and open to the experiences the universe is offering, while your ego is usually just in the way. Sincero offers simple steps to get past your own ego: stop at nothing, have faith in yourself, stay the course, and truly believe that you are awesome.

This leads to Sincero’s belief that it is crucial that we love ourselves. This involves stopping yourself from worrying about what other people think of you and celebrate how great you are instead. You can’t control how other people think of you and treat you—but you can control how you treat yourself and how you think about yourself, so make that a positive. Sincero then offers seven steps to finding happiness:



1.     Start immediately.
2.     Find what you’re good at and do that.
3.     Don’t think too hard—if you love it, it doesn’t have to be different or unique.
4.     You’re allowed to change.
5.     Intuition is good.
6.     Dream and pursue those dreams.
7.     Love yourself.

Sincero then explores practical ways of achieving the goals she has set out. First, she advises you to investigate meditation. She states that many people talk themselves out of trying to meditate by obsessing over the possible ways they can fail. She advises that you just start doing it and stop worrying about whether you’re doing it ‛correctly.’ Just the act of trying will be beneficial.

Sincero notes that the only way to change your reality is to change your thinking. Being positive in your thinking will result in more positivity in your life—it’s that simple. Being grateful is key to accepting the good things in your life. Forgiveness is also key—not to help out other people, but to allow yourself to release the negative feelings trapped inside you.



Another aspect of being a badass is to get over your own ‛BS.’ Sincero advises that we recognize when we’re holding onto negative things due to insecurity and fear, constructing a negative reality. Recognizing this will allow you to release those negative things and construct a positive reality. Sincero notes that the people we gather around ourselves usually reflect our own desires and fears and dreams, so seeking the beauty and joy in others will reflect that back at you.

Sincero then argues that often what makes us unhappy is indecision. She instructs you to make a commitment—to choose a course and stick with it, no matter the fear. She notes that this will often involve spending money, which is scary to people, but this sort of sacrifice is worth it. Spend the money and follow your dreams and you will be happier. She warns that it’s possible to commit and spend the money but then balk at the final follow-through, and wind up with nothing to show for your efforts. You have to be willing to push all the way to follow your dreams.

Sincero ends with some parting advice: Give yourself permission and the means to be who you are.