Throughout the essay, Adichie cites instances of discrimination that she and her female friends have suffered because they’re women. Much of this discrimination isn’t overt except to the women themselves. They often have to do with being ignored more than with being harassed or persecuted. Early in the essay, Adichie describes how service people routinely ignore her—and how diminished this makes her feel: “Each time they ignore me, I feel invisible. I feel upset” (19). Her feeling is shared by an American female friend, an executive who’s often ignored in business meetings: “She didn’t want to speak up because she didn’t want to seem aggressive. She let her resentments simmer” (22).

Challenging these injustices is hard for the very reason that they’re not obvious. To challenge them is to disrupt the status quo and to risk seeming anti-social or difficult. Moreover, as Adichie writes, women are often raised to be accepting and compliant, so speaking up doesn’t come naturally to them. For Adichie’s American female friend, speaking up carries the danger of losing her job; yet even when a job isn’t involved, the threat of societal disapproval and the power of social expectations loom.

However, remaining silent in the face of these injustices carries a risk too.