Content Warning: This section of the guide references violence, abuse, rape, and homicide.

“My ex-wife used to say my job was my mistress, and I chose my mistress over everyone. Those charged conversations from long ago rang in my ears as I stood in my office, boxing up the last of my belongings. Paul, you’ve lost your way…We need you…Even when you’re here you’re not really here.”

The opening chapter introduces the key theme of The Work-Life Balance Struggle. Holes is fulfilled by his work and driven to extremes in working on cases, which leads his family to feel neglected and unimportant. Notably, Holes is thinking about this on the cusp of retirement, foreshadowing his efforts to be more present with his family while still contributing to criminal investigations.

“Cold cases were my passion; this one [the Golden State Killer] was an obsession. It had stumped every investigator who had looked into it—and believe me, there had been hundreds. […] There were other cases I hadn’t been able to crack, and I took each one personally, but that one weighed on me more than the others—mostly because the offender had outwitted some of the best criminal investigative minds in the business.”

It is partially the challenge that the Golden State Killer presents that attracts Holes to this cold case. He recognizes that many others have failed to accomplish what he hopes to: unmasking this serial rapist and killer. However, the differing connotations of “passion” and “obsession” suggest that this particular cold case may negatively impact Holes.

“The drive home to Vacaville seemed to take forever. I was filled with regret. I had just failed to wrap up my final suspect in a case that continued to elude me. If the Golden State Killer case was ever to be solved, I would not be a part of it. I felt defeated. The survivors had counted on me as their last chance for justice, and I had let them down. My career would end with a blemished footnote.”

Though Holes has had a successful career, he focuses on what he has not accomplished: capturing the Golden State Killer. This reflects his driven nature as well as his empathy for those impacted by the GSK’s crimes. At this time, he does not know that he ultimately will accomplish this goal.