At the beginning of the novel, Sloan is best able to describe love in terms of what it is not. Asa claims to love Sloan, and initially she thinks she loves him. Unfortunately, however, Sloan’s perspective of love is a result of how little of it she has experienced. Her mother may have loved her, but she also put her children at risk rather than being the parent they needed.

Luke gives Sloan a new, revelatory understanding of love when he tells her, “The only thing love relies on for survival is respect. And you don’t get that from him” (99). When she realizes Luke is worried about her safety, she thinks, “No one should have to experience a life never feeling truly cared for—not even by the parents who created them. Yet I’ve lived that for twenty-one years now. Until this moment” (86). She has so much experience with warped versions of love that she can scarcely believe how far she has been led astray when she listens to Luke’s toast:

Love is not found. Love finds…Love finds you in the forgiveness at the tail end of a fight. Love finds you in the empathy you feel for someone else.