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“The disconnect between want and do has been blamed on a lot of things—but people blame it on themselves for the most part. They internalize the cultural message of ‘It’s your fault! You should exercise more, but you aren’t doing it. Shame on you!’”
The chief problem in self-improvement is that people’s desire to be more worthy puts tremendous pressure on them, so that their first efforts, if unsuccessful, create a feeling of failure, and they give up. The author’s purpose is to redirect people toward a technique that relies, not on scolding, but on small reinforcements.
“People change best by feeling good, not by feeling bad.”
The bad feelings people get when they scold themselves for failing to change tend to extinguish the desire to improve. Instead, the author teaches that small changes, followed by small celebrations, gives people positive feedback that snowballs into larger, more lasting improvements.
“A behavior happens when the three elements of MAP—Motivation, Ability, and Prompt—come together at the same moment. Motivation is your desire to do the behavior. Ability is your capacity to do the behavior. And Prompt is your cue to do the behavior.”
According to the author, behaviors occur when all three MAP elements are present. His Tiny Habits system uses an Anchor as the Prompt—for example, placing floss next to your toothbrushes, so the brushes remind you to floss—then using a Tiny Habit Behavior as the Ability—anyone can do a small, easy thing, like flossing just one tooth—and finally encouraging Motivation with a short I-did-it! Celebration.
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