Many of Stephen’s struggles stem from her inability to conform to gender stereotypes, which were extremely rigid at the turn of the 20th century in England. At the opening of the novel, several associations are made between boys and strength/education, and between girls and beauty. This is unfortunate for Stephen, who is a girl with strength and smarts but no conventional beauty. It is soon clear that Stephen’s mother, Anna, “hates” her specifically because of the masculine qualities she possesses. It’s not just Anna who sees these boyish qualities in Stephen, though. For example, one of the houseworkers, Mrs. Bingham, states, “Ms. Stephen’s quite different from other young ladies—she’s got none of their pretty little ways—it’s a pity!” (13).

It wasn’t just her love of traditionally masculine activities that rendered Stephen odd, but also her physical traits. According to the maid Collins, “I believe she must be a boy with them shoulders, and them funny gawky legs” (13). The reactions of her mother and her maids leave Stephen feeling confused, alone, and distant. She “hated soft dresses and sashes, and ribbons […] she was conscious of feeling all wrong” (13). Additionally, “she loathed her abundant long hair” and felt that “being a girl spoilt everything” (28).