The Shock of the Fall

The Shock of the Fall is the 2013 debut young-adult novel by British author Nathan Filer. Set in contemporary England, 19-year-old Matt Homes tells his own story dating back a decade, during which he begins to suffer from severe mental illness following the death of his older brother, Simon. When Matt and Simon go out for a walk while on vacation with their parents, something mysterious happens to Simon that Matt cannot remember. Beset with feelings of guilt, sadness, grief, shame, loss, uncertainty, and post-traumatic stress, Matt’s mental state begins to deteriorate to the point of clinical schizophrenia. Determined to get him the help he needs, Matt’s parents enroll him in a mental institution. There, Matt finds a therapeutic release in the form of writing. Through his intimate expressions, Matt seeks to uncover what really happened to his brother 10 years earlier, hoping to find closure in the process. The Shock of the Fall won the Costa Book Awards Best Book of the Year and First Novel Award in 2014.

Unreliably narrated in the first person by 19-year-old protagonist Matt Homes, the story begins with a recollection from his boyhood. Matt lives alone in Bristol, England, and confesses outright that he is not a nice person. He also admits that he’s never dealt well with pain since scraping his knee as a nine-year-old boy. Matt recalls this particular episode when he and his brother Simon went camping with their parents at Ocean Cove Holiday Park. Matt calls the traumatic experience of this night as “The Shock of the Fall,” a memory he can neither fully remember nor rightly forget. His older brother Simon, who is afflicted with Down’s syndrome and several other medical conditions, carries Matt back to safety following his injury.

Shortly after, Simon is found dead. The details of Simon’s death, for which Matt blames himself, remain a mystery until the end of the novel. Matt’s profound sense of guilt, grief, uncertainty, regret, and post-traumatic stress he feels as a result continue to haunt and prey on his adolescent psyche for nearly a decade. As Matt states, “mental illness turns people inward.”



Matt’s traumatic past is so profound that he begins manifesting “commanding hallucinations” of Simon. When Matt begins summoning Simon’s voice in his head, his father Richard and mother Susan send him to be treated at a mental hospital called Hope Road Day Centre. At the ward, Matt experiences a repetitive routine of treatment that he loathes. He complains about the rigid schedule enforced by Dr. Edward Clement, saying: “it tells me exactly what I have to do with my days, like coming in for therapy groups…what tablets I should take, and the injections, and who is responsible for what.” He continues by grousing: “there is literally nothing to do.” When Matt begins seeing an art therapist named Denise Lovell, he’s asked to perform a genogram. Matt agrees, and slowly begins to remember what happened to Simon by writing about the night he died.

Most of the novel jumps back and forth between the present and the intervening years since Simon’s death. Matt’s hand-written and typewritten memoirs, notes, journal entries, inner-thoughts, personal letters, and other forms of expression are presented in various typefaces and font-sizes, and often come with sketches and detailed illustrations. These variations depict Matt’s fractious mind-state as a result of the mental illness he’s incurred over the years. As the novel progresses, Matt’s mental state becomes sharper, in large part due to his ability to find catharsis in writing about the night that changed his life. Yet, while the guilt of Simon’s death continues to haunt Matt like a figurative and literal specter, in the end he declares: “this story… it’s finding a way to let go.” This internal struggle is the main crux of the novel.

Another theme of the novel critiques the way mental illness is not only stigmatized, but suspiciously treated in hospitals as well. As a former mental health nurse, Flier scathingly indicts the overmedicating practices and profit motives of hospitals that are beholden to giant pharmaceutical companies. As Matt notes, patients are coldly referred to as “Service Users,” and are treated impersonally. Matt observes how the names of prominent drugs are stamped on merchandise throughout the hospital: on pens, papers, notepads, briefcases, coffee mugs, etc. This angers Matt, fueling his schizoid demeanor and subsequent need to vent his feelings onto the page. Matt objects to taking the medication that makes the vivid sights and sounds of Simon go away. He wants to retain Simon’s presence, and protect it the way he was unable to in reality a decade before.



Matt eventually reveals that, after a harmless prank gone wrong, Simon died by accidentally falling off of a short cliff. Matt was not responsible for his brother’s death, but feels so anyway. His sense of guilt is compounded by the fact that, earlier in the night, Simon was able to carry Matt home after scraping his knee. Matt was unable to reciprocate the heroic gesture when Simon plummeted to his death moments later. After Richard, Susan and Dr. Clement discuss the progress Matt has made at the ward, he is ultimately discharged. As he awaits his release, Matt states “this story doesn’t have an end. Not really. How can it when I’m still here, still living it?”

Following its U.K. release, The Shock of the Fall was republished under the title Where the Moon Isn’t. This alternative title can be seen as a metaphor the character of Simon, as Matt constantly refers to his brother as having a face that resembles the moon. The title also reinforces the profound longing Matt has for his brother’s return. The Shock of the Fall won the Betty Task Prize for 2014, the Writers’ Guild of Britain Best First Novel for 2014, and the Specsavers National Book Awards Popular Fiction Book of the Year for 2014.