“A broad-planed, strong, womanly face. I know that I found it beautiful. But I cannot recapture its beauty.”

Michael uses imagery to describe Hanna’s face, and his description displays her tough character. Michael notes his attraction to Hanna and blurs time. He looks at her as a teen, yet the comments on her beauty come from adult Michael.

“Did my moral upbringing somehow turn against itself? If looking at someone with desire was as bad as satisfying the desire, if having an active fantasy was as bad as the act you were fantasizing—then why not the satisfaction and the act itself.”

Michael acknowledges that his attraction to Hanna violates morals. He also asserts his agency. He desires Hanna and wants to satisfy his lust.

“The next night I fell in love with her. I could barely sleep, I was yearning for her, I dreamed of her, thought I could feel her until I realized that I was clutching the pillow or the blanket. My mouth hurt from kissing. I kept getting erections, but I didn’t want to masturbate. I wanted to be with her.”

Michael uses a blunt tone to convey his deep feelings for Hanna. He declares his love for her and uses imagery to illustrate his constant urges to have sex with her.