The text investigates ideals of masculinity through Greg’s attempts to impress his dad. Kinney paints a patriarchal picture of masculinity that includes physical strength, toughness, athleticism, and discipline and crystalizes this image by showing all the ways that Greg, a self-proclaimed “wimp,” fails to measure up. The text therefore suggests that holding men to such a standard and expecting them to conform will cause them pain and trouble. Greg explores three avenues to idealized masculinity by playing a sport, joining Boy Scouts, and confronting a possible future in military school.

When Greg and his brothers accidentally cause a scene in church, Frank punishes Greg by signing him up for soccer. The incident in church speaks directly to Frank’s insecurity about Greg’s demeanor; Greg has to wear a fuzzy pink sweater as a skirt to cover the chocolate stains, which highlights his less-than-masculine physical appearance. His attempts to weasel his way out of church point to a lack of respect for rules and authority, and his choice to goad his little brother and cause a scene shows a lack of discipline. Frank admires how his boss’s kids are “crazy sports fanatics” (25), unlike Greg, Rodrick, and Manny, and sees sports as a way to correct some of Greg’s perceived flaws.