“A marriage is hard work and sometimes it’s a bit of a bore. It’s like housework. It’s never finished. You’ve just got to grit your teeth and keep working away at it, day after day. Of course, the men don’t work as hard at it as we do, but that’s men for you, isn’t it? They’re not much good at housework either. Well, they weren’t in my day. Of course, these days they cook, vacuum, change nappies—the lot! Still don’t get equal pay in the workforce, though, do you? You’ve got a long way to go, you girls. Not doing much about it, though, are you?”

The sentiment here is expressed by Connie. The generational differences in attitude toward gender inequality and the division of labor within the household are reflected in Connie’s view that women will always have it harder than men, as well as in Margie and Laura’s midlife crises, in which they seek new freedoms and independence from the identities informed by men. This passage acts as a feminist commentary on the drama of the novel.

“It would be so satisfying, almost wickedly satisfying, to feed a hungry, appreciative man like that, to keep on dishing out steaming helpings until he pressed one hand to his stomach and protested, ‘No, no, I can’t eat another thing.’ One day, Connie would live in a house with a pantry full of food. It was not right. Skinny (handsome!) boys like Jimmy Thrum shouldn’t be hungry.”

Growing up in the Depression, Connie’s life often centers around food (or the lack of food), and she learns how to be a good cook in order to maximize experience with limited ingredients. Connie’s love language is cooking for other people, a practical means of taking care of them. Her "almost wicked” desire to feed Jimmy is intensely sensual, and linked to her desire to be a homemaker.

“She doesn’t want to be Deborah at home with pretty, growling, meowing baby Lily. She really doesn’t. She would rather be single, desperate-for-a-man Sophie.”

Throughout the text, Sophie acknowledges that she feels pressure to conform to heteronormative expectations about romantic partnerships and parental obligations. She is continually shown as conflicted as she manages the different opinions and expectations of society, her friends, and family, comparing herself to others. Her difficulty in understanding what she truly wants is at the heart of her character’s trajectory, as the novel shows her growing in self-knowledge.