“‘I know you hate surprise, Stella. In the interest of communicating our expectations and providing you with a reasonable timeline, you should know we’re ready for grandchildren.’”

Stella’s need for structure and to anticipate change is clearly outlined by her mother in the first line of the book. This also establishes the driving action of the novel, as Stella has to consider her romantic future at her mother’s urging. This parental pressure, paired with the ticking clock associated with childbearing years, is the catalyst for the novel’s events.

“‘With his own issues to overcome, he might be more understanding of your Asperger’s.’

  Though the words were spoken in a matter-of-fact tone, they sounded unnatural and loud to Stella’s ears. A quick glance at the neighboring tables in the restaurant’s canopied outdoor dining area reassured her hat no one had heard […].”

Stella’s autism is introduced early in the book to provide the reader with context for her behaviors and decision-making processes. It allows the reader to identify characteristics typically associated with autism. As her Asperger’s syndrome is discussed, it is clear that Stella is uncomfortable with her condition. She makes sure that other people aren’t listening in to their conversation, wanting to keep her autism a secret. This foreshadows her later discomfort with being autistic, which hinders her and Michael’s bonding.

“Which envelope should he open first? The lab results or the bill? Michael was paranoid about protection, so the lab results should be good. Should be. In his experience, shit didn’t need a reason to happen. Bills, on the other hand, were a sure thing. They always sucked. The only question was how hard they’d punch him in the balls.”

Michael’s escort work and money troubles are introduced from the first paragraph focusing on him. While the reader is not yet made aware of why he has money troubles, it immediately creates conflict between Michael and whatever entities want his money.

“Look at your only son now, Dad. It would torment his dad if he found out Michael was having sex for money. A thoroughly delightful thought.”

Michael’s negative feelings toward his father are exposed as Michael prepares for his evening. This foreshadows that Michael’s father has wronged him, and further establishes a key part of Michael’s identity as the only male in a family of females. This contributes to Michael’s need to take care of others.

“She pushed her glasses up her nose and drew her shoulders back. ‘I’m awful at… what you do. But I want to get better. I think I can get better if someone would teach me. I’d like that person to be you.’”

Stella establishes the premise of the novel when she asks that Michael become her teacher in intimate matters. Her self-consciousness is evident, and she does not reference the reason for this belief, hiding her autism from Michael for the first time.

“‘If we do this thing, you have to promise not to go crazy when it ends. […] I mean it. No stalking, no calling, no outrageous gifts. None of that.’”

Following their first failed attempts at intimacy, Michael reverses his usual no-repeat-client rule and agrees to become Stella’s tutor for a brief while. Here, he outlines his requirements for their working relationship, and in doing so reveals some of the trauma he has experienced as an escort. He references a client who became obsessed with him to make the reader aware of some of the dangers of escorting and to foreshadow future points of contention between Stella and Michael.

“This was what happened when you kept secrets. People drew their own conclusions. He wondered briefly if he should just roll with it. There was no doubt in his mind his family would take it better than the truth. They didn’t know about his escorting or the bills that necessitated the escorting. He planned to keep it that way.”

Michael outlines some of the consequences of his lifestyle, setting a precedent that he keeps secrets from his loved ones to protect them from worry. He considers aligning with a sexual orientation that is not his own to facilitate his secrecy, as he is committed to no one knowing about his occasional job or why he must perform it.

“She pursed her lips as she kept silent. If she spoke right now, chances were high she’d say The Wrong Thing.”

One common struggle among those with autism is difficulty reading social cues and knowing the appropriate time to say something, or the appropriate tone to use. Stella, aware of this struggle, opts for silence out of fear that she will misspeak and hurt Michael’s feelings. This, in the middle of an intimate moment, further highlights her lack of familiarity with relationships.

“‘My compliments to your tailor.’ She checked the inside and was even more pleased when she couldn’t detect the bunching of hasty seams underneath the fine silk lining. Expert craftsmanship.”

Stella admires Michael’s clothing even without knowing that he was the one that made his suits. This is a testament to Michael’s skill, but also to his level of privacy as he has not shared this artistic side with Stella. Further, it highlights her sensitivities to texture and fabric, another common trait in people with autism.

“All she could do was shake her head. Anytime people learned about her disorder, they started walking on eggshells around her. It strained the relationship until they found a way to leave. She never told people anymore. Apparently, that wasn’t enough to keep some from figuring it out on their own.”

After the mishap at the club, Quan learns that Stella is autistic. She reveals part of the reason she keeps her diagnosis to herself: the social rejection she has experienced in the past makes her hesitant in her present relationships.

“All my days are crap days, but today was worse. I thought my mom was dead. When I got there, she was stooped over in her chair, and it didn’t look like she was breathing. […] After that, someone came looking for my dad. They were trying to serve him. Not sure if it was the same person from before, or the IRS, or someone new. It’s always fun seeing people’s faces when I tell them yeah, I’m his son.”

When alone with Quan, Michael finally reveals some of his concerns and negative emotions. His father is a wanted man, and his mother is sick, leading him to constantly be in a state of worry and disorientation. He feels shame because of the familial connection between he and his father, and dislikes claiming that connection. This continues to add tension to the novel as the reader is still left in the dark as to what his father has done and the ramifications on their family.

“His mom laughed and pointed at him. ‘Look at your face. Don’t try to tell me you don’t like her. It’s clear as day. I’m glad you finally got some good taste in women. Keep this one.’”

After their accidental meeting, Michael’s mother expresses approval for both Stella and how happy she makes Michael. This is not the first time that someone has comment on Michael’s obvious care for Stella, as Quan had done something similar after the club incident. This feeds into a common romance trope in that the people around a character can see that character’s true feelings, whereas they themselves remain in the dark. This moment of approval is important, because Michael’s love for his mother is one of his dominant characteristics and motivations. Without this approval, there would be strain on their growing relationship.

“Stella rested her damp hands on the glass surface of the table. This had to stop eventually. She just had to outlast them.”

Stella grapples with overstimulation as the Phan-Larsen house becomes overwhelming with volume, fighting, and minor fixations for her. Because Michael is unaware of her autism, he was not able to prepare either his family or Stella for the chaos at home. Because of this, Stella’s well-meaning questions and concerns are taken poorly, causing Michael’s mother to cry and making Stella feel guilty for things outside of her control.

“If you love her, we’ll learn to love her too.”

Despite having gotten her feelings hurt, Michael’s mother insists that Stella is still welcome in the family. This shows that Michael’s love is reciprocated and is an indication of where he got his kindness. This acceptance is in sharp contrast to Michael’s interactions with Stella’s father later in the book, showing the different ways that families try to look out for their children.

“Everything clicked together then. ‘She’s autistic.’

‘You disappointed?’ Quan asked with a tilt of his head.

‘No.’ The word came our hoarse, and he cleared his throat.”

With some hints from Quan, Michael realizes that Stella has autism. Quan immediately becomes defensive of Stella, prompting Michael to reflect on his reaction to this discovery. Michael is accepting of Stella’s condition in a way that she would never have anticipated. His failure to tell her that he knows about her autism, however, broadens their eventual rift.

“Love? Sharpness panged inside his chest. She could never love him. He felt the certainty with every fiber of himself. Love required trust, and only a fool would trust him. He was his father’s son.”

Michael’s self-consciousness prevents him from seeing that Stella’s affection for him is genuine. Rather than enjoy Stella’s compliments, his thoughts once again turn to his father, showing that Michael’s decisions are being controlled by a man who is no longer in his life. Because Michael hides the truth about his father from Stella, he creates an emotional distance between them that stands in the way of their growing relationship.

“Why couldn’t he be hers for real? There was only one plausible reason she could think of: He didn’t want her back.”

Just like Michael is too self-conscious to be honest with Stella, Stella is too self-conscious to be honest with Michael. She hides her autism and develops a plan to woo Michael, hoping to overcome what she believes to be her own undesirability. It highlights their lack of communication, reinforcing that positive communication would prevent these concerns from growing out of hand.

“Her breathing went erratic, and her stomach twisted and sank. Michael didn’t have a drug addiction or a gambling problem. He just really loved his mom.”

When Stella discovers that Michael is paying his mother’s medical bills, she becomes overwhelmed by emotion. Her previous fears as to why Michael worked as an escort are assuaged while she struggles with a situation she cannot fix. This moment shows Stella his true nature and represents her seeing a new part of him.

“Sometimes she convinced herself that her labels didn’t matter. They were just words. They didn’t change who she was. If he learned about them, he wouldn’t care. Maybe.”

Because Stella does not understand Michael’s genuine feelings for her, she still sees her autism as an obstacle for their love. Michael has also failed to communicate that he knows about her diagnosis, which furthers their emotional divide. This contributes to Stella’s feelings of self-consciousness, creating a vicious cycle of imagined rejection.

“‘Dad liked it when I won, so I tried really hard.’ […] ‘It was just hard work. I figured out how to test well. You’re way smarter than me, Stella.’”

Michael discounts his academic accomplishments, believing that because he focused on design rather than a scientific endeavor, he is lesser than Stella. This highlights how he has internalized his father’s judgements, making them a core part of his belief system. Although he is happy, he cannot become content until he overcomes his father’s influence.

“He touched his lips to hers. Dry skin on dry skin. A wet tongue slimed into her mouth, and her heart skittered. Her body went into lockdown. It was like her first three encounters all over again. Wrong wrong wrong.”

Stella’s encounter with Phillip is sharply contrasted to her relationship with Michael in many ways. Phillip ignores Stella’s rejection and forces himself on her. The resulting kiss contains none of the physical attraction or magnetism she is used to experiencing with Michael, causing her to revert to her behavior from her past experiences with men. This highlights that her connection with Michael is genuine and that she is not just using him to teach her how to be intimate with other partners.

“This crusade to fix herself was ending right now. She wasn’t broken. She saw and interacted with the world in a different way, but that was her. She could change her actions, change her words, change her appearance, but she couldn’t change the root of herself. At her core, she would always be autistic. People called it a disorder, but it didn’t feel like one. To her, it was simply the way she was.”

For the first time, Stella accepts her autism. She changes her perspective on it after a poignant conversation with Janie, concluding that her different worldview does not mean she is underserving of love. Stella experiences a major moment of growth, overcoming her inner conflict about her diagnosis. In finally loving herself, she makes herself more able to love others and more likely to accept the love of others.

“Everyone was moving forward with their lives but him. What was stopping him? The bills were gone, and he didn’t need to escort anymore. His mom wanted him to stop working in the shop. All the bars of his cage were gone, but he was still sitting in his old place, afraid to move. Maybe it was time for him to change that.”

The same day that Stella has her epiphany about her autism, Michael has an epiphany about his place in the world. He resolves to pursue the dreams he ignored for so long, understanding that his family is in a better place. Michael’s commitment to his passions is his own step towards healing, for it involves finally ignoring his father’s influence on his life. He is able to be his best self and, in doing so, empowers himself to move forward with Stella.

“Women buy underwear for the men they love. It’s economics. Data supports this claim.”

Stella utilizes her economics fascination to articulate her love for Michael. It is a way of expressing her love that is unique to her, celebrating the things she enjoys. By wearing the undergarments she purchased, Michael symbolically shows his love for her, accepting her expression of affection despite their recent rift.