To explore the insidious effects of the feminine mystique further, Friedan offers her own years as a young woman as an example. She describes the promising path that she was on in college, winning one fellowship and then another, the second of which would have committed her to doctoral studies in psychology. While contemplating the decision, she took a walk with a boy she saw as a potential romantic interest. He told her, “Nothing can come of this, between us. I’ll never win a fellowship like yours” (68). After hearing this boy’s matter-of-fact insecurity at the thought of dating a woman who surpassed him in his professional life, Friedan turned down the fellowship, fearful that if she continued on her current trajectory, she would never have a family.

She uses this anecdote from her life to illustrate the entire problem of the feminine mystique: Women absorb the belief that they exist to become a wife and mother and that any alternative is a failure—a rejection of their femininity. To veer off this path requires an enormous leap of faith because women have so few examples of what an alternative life might look like.