An important element of The Family Game is the element of psychological control and thrill. Psychological control helps enhance the mystery and tension in this novel. Importantly, the psychology of control also makes Harriet question her own instincts and sense of self as she seeks to unravel the mystery of the Holbeck family.

Robert Holbeck uses the psychology of control through disturbing and distressing games that force his family into precarious situations. The Krampusnacht game is terrifying even though it is certain that the Holbecks wouldn’t let anything bad happen to their children. Still, instilling fear into their family members is, to Robert, an important part of building character. This is because forcing people through tortuous fear forces them to develop grit and resilience. The psychological control comes into play because players of the game are meant to feel grateful for being a part of this exclusive family, as well as being given the opportunity to work together and prove themselves. The Christmas Eve game is another test of psychological control because it pits family member against family member. The point of the game is to win, which is valued in the Holbeck family. But the secondary point of the game is for the winner to prove that they care about their family by using their victory to give grace to the others.