Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussions of drug overdose, suicide, and terminal illness.

Steven Rowley introduces this theme in dialogue throughout the novel. By juxtaposing humor and discussions of death or dying, Rowley suggests that friendship provides connection and lightheartedness despite the circumstances. While characters sometimes use humor as a deflection or a way to avoid talking about their real emotions, ultimately humor functions as a way into talking about something that might otherwise inspire silence.

During a discussion of who has and hasn’t yet had their own funeral, Naomi says: “Oh, sweet Jordy […]. Always a pallbearer, never a corpse” (10). The conflation of funereal terms with the “always a bridesmaid, never a bride” aphorism emphasizes the fact that the friends’ pact involves bringing a celebratory and lighthearted perspective to the reality of death. Rowley emphasizes that the pact has always been characterized by this paradoxical combination of humor and morbidity: “Naomi exhaled her displeasure. ‘It’s your funeral,’ she mumbled, giving up. It had been twenty-eight years, more than half their lives, since they made their pact and that joke was never not a source of amusement” (12). This passage illustrates the fact that both death and humor are inextricable from the friendship dynamic, portraying possibilities for connection in the darker parts of life.