“The problem is that we have overlooked one fundamental truth: People speak different love languages.”

We tend to assume that most people are like us—that if we speak a particular love language then that language will be readily understood by others. This is usually not the case: most often we will need to learn a new way of expressing love for our partner. We will need to feel comfortable expressing our own needs and desires with them as well.

“If we are to communicate effectively across cultural lines, we must learn the language of those with whom we wish to communicate.”

As with real languages—English, Spanish, French—different languages can be difficult to understand, and much can be lost in translation. If we wish to communicate effectively with our spouse, then we must learn to speak their love language. Only then will we be able to communicate our love in a way that they easily understand, recognize, and appreciate.

“[T]he need to feel loved is a primary human emotional need.”

Alongside the basic necessities of water, food, and shelter, human beings have emotional and intellectual needs. The most fundamental of these is the need to feel loved, the need to feel that we are in harmony with another person who loves us for who we are and is willing to demonstrate that love to us.