“But I found something bitter inside myself, something of that winter blown into my heart: the sound of my mother coughing, and the memory of the story the way they’d told it in the village square so many times, about a girl who made herself queen with someone else’s gold, and never paid her debts.” 

Miryem finds “coldness” within herself, which is required to stand firm in demanding payment on her loans despite pleas for mercy and threats. The story referenced is one recounted at the beginning of the book in which a moneylender is demonized when a village girl’s attempts to catch a prince in marriage with borrowed jewelry fails. In town they tell the story as a triumph over the evil moneylender, whereas Miryem knows it as a cautionary tale about the hatred of the townspeople. This quote contrasts the town’s perception of the evil of moneylenders with reality as Miryem knows it—that moneylending is a job like any other. Against this prejudice and other dangers, Miryem shields herself with determination and even anger.

“That part of the old story turned out to be true: you have to be cruel to be a good moneylender. But I was ready to be as merciless with our neighbors as they’d been with my father.” 

Miryem discovers that keeping the books balanced and collecting on her debts responsibly requires shutting her heart against mercy. She is willing to do this to ensure that her family survives, but she also remembers how she and her family starved when the people who owed them money refused to pay. As they were without empathy for the Mandelstams, Miryem decides she will not grant them any mercy. While Miryem forgives no debts and refuses to allow lack of payment, she does treat the debtors fairly.