Content Warning: This section of the guide contains discussion of physical abuse, graphic violence, and gender discrimination.

Gather initial thoughts and broad opinions about the book.

1. How does Lisa See’s use of a frame narrative, with Lily telling her story as an elderly woman, affect your experience of the novel? What perspectives does this structure offer that a straightforward chronological narrative might not?

2. The novel explores various forms of female relationships. How does it compare to other novels with similar subject matter—e.g., Amy Tan’s The Joy Luck Club—in its portrayal of women’s bonds across generations? What distinctive elements does each book bring to this theme?

3. What was your initial reaction to the detailed descriptions of foot-binding? How did these passages contribute to your understanding of the cultural context and women’s experiences in 19th-century China? Had you encountered other literary representations of this practice before—e.g., in Adeline Yen Mah’s Chinese Cinderella?

Encourage readers to connect the book’s themes and characters with their personal experiences.

1. The concept of teng ai (mother love) is described as being composed of two characters, meaning “pain” and “love.