For Len Gray, guns symbolize masculinity; others would call them a symbol of toxic masculinity. He describes his guns using sexual, affectionate language. In his diary, he writes: “I have bought a gaw-juss weapon. It lies beneath my bed like a secret lover, quiet, powerful, waiting to work its magic. I lie above it, quiet, powerful, waiting to work my magic” (192). He has turned the guns into a sexual fetish. When he contemplates going to a gun show to buy a rifle, he writes: “[T]rying to guess the name of my fair and deadly maiden. Will it be Kalashnikov? Could be” (186).

The guns compensate for his sense of weakness and insecurity. In his mind, the guns are a way to prove his manhood.

In his interview with Dr. Ewings, Cameron says that Len “started wearing dark clothes. And a dark hat” (46). He makes it clear that Len did this to be nonconformist, saying that he shunned “superficial things” like matching colors or dressing to impress other students (46). Black clothing is also associated with death, and symbolizes power or evil.

Cameron explains that people who go “dark” are shunning the “puffed-up way of living” (51). Based on Cameron’s descriptions, it is apparent that dark clothing and going dark are the attire and look of the outsider—the person who does not want to fit into mainstream culture.