The backdrop and key motif of Same as It Ever Was is the music it references throughout. The novel uses this motif to express various aspects of two key themes: Transformation of Parent-Child Relationships Over Time and Personal Identity and Motherhood. Much of the music the novel references is pop and indie rock bands popular with Gen X and expresses disillusionment about typical Midwestern middle-class suburban life. The text establishes this motif in the title of the book itself: “Same as it ever was” is a lyric from the 1981 classic “Once in a Lifetime” by Talking Heads. This song expresses shock, alienation, disillusionment, and confusion about ending up in a typical life with a “beautiful house” and a “beautiful wife,” asking “How did I get here?” and thus symbolically mirroring Julia’s feelings about her own life.

Julia uses music to express her personal identity in the context of her life as a mother. It anchors her to her life pre-motherhood life, when she listened to this music regularly and went to see the bands play live. When Ben was young, she played this music in the car, and they sang along with it together.