“Technology is implicated in an assault on empathy. We have learned that even a silent phone inhibits conversations that matter. The very sight of a phone on the landscape leaves us feeling less connected to each other, less invested in each other.”

From the outset, Turkle makes it clear that the problem extends beyond simply using phones. The physical presence of a phone implies that there will be potential interruptions during the conversation that follows, regardless of the seriousness of the talk. The presence of a phone diffuses attention.

“Real people, with their unpredictable ways, can seem difficult to contend with after one has spent a stretch in a simulation.”

The online environment is systematized in a way that real life is not. Conversations and experiences with real people are irreducible to a series of predictable inputs and outputs. Rather, real life is messy, which provides some of its frustrations but also much of its exhilaration. Returning to life without devices—or cutting back—will feel unfamiliar after inordinate time online.

“Our texts are fine. It’s what texting does to our conversations when we are together, that’s the problem.”

In a group of eight people, Cameron tells Turkle that it is not the content of the texts that creates an issue. Rather, texts and phones change the nature of physical gatherings. At a dinner, a meeting, or any other gathering, if anyone’s eyes are downward on a screen, it changes the dynamic of giving and receiving attention. A text that interrupts a gathering results in the receiver pausing the others to communicate with someone who is not present.