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The echoes of Patty’s childhood traumas reverberate throughout Patina. From taking on the burdens of helping raise her younger sister, to unresolved anger issues that stem from her early experiences, Patty struggles to cope with her past. The narrative is organized in a series of “To Do” lists, which act as a symbol for Patty’s belief that she must be solely responsible for taking care of everything and not need help from others. This belief adds mounting pressure to Patty until she is finally forced to come to terms with her past.
Patty illustrates early in the story how she feels her childhood was taken away from her prematurely: “I was pretty messed up by the whole thing, but doing my best to be strong and brave and big, and all the other things I ain’t really feel like being all the time. I’d rather be sneaking lipstick on in the bathroom, sending Cotton selfies of how fly I look” (70). This feeling of needing to be brave and big for Maddy contributes to the way that Patty pushes down her emotions instead of confronting them or processing them. These sacrifices affect her emotionally: “I couldn’t do none of those things no more. At least, not like I wanted to, because now I had to look out for Maddy, who was just…confused” (71). Patty often tells herself to be strong, or to push through, but then her emotions come to the surface in more explosive ways. Examples of this include her desire to kick over a bench after her second-place finish, or nearly punching Krystal after their argument at track practice.
It isn’t until the end of the book that Patty finally confronts her trauma and allows herself to express the emotion that she has been bottling up for years. When she is forced to consider the alternate outcome of Maddy and Momly’s accident, she realizes that so much of her life has been defined by what she lost as a child. She no longer can “keep it together” and gives into her feelings of anger: “I wondered how my life would be different if my dad had just… woke up. Why couldn’t he have just woke up? If he was here, I could just be… regular” (192). This is an emotionally draining experience for Patty, but one that enables her to process and experience her emotions. Patty is used to running away from her feelings or ignoring them by adding on additional responsibilities at home.
This scene recalls Momly’s story of going to Chester Academy as a teenager and having to process her mother’s stroke. Momly consumes her time and energy by continuing to perform custodial duties to honor her mother but continues to ignore her pain. When Mr. Warren says to her: “Folks who try to do everything are usually avoiding one thing” (146) Momly understands that she can’t ignore the fact that her mother is no longer the same or use other means to ignore her problems. She offers this same lesson to Patty as a way for her to begin processing her own trauma.
Patty will continue to learn to cope with her past, but at the end of the book she seems better poised to confront her issues head on. The lessons she’s learned through her participation as a member of the relay team, as well as accepting support and help from others around her, indicate that her trauma will remain a part of her, but won’t define her.
Patty’s history of trauma affects many aspects of her life, and she carries a heavier load of responsibilities than the average 12 year old. Patty’s life has been altered by the events of her past, and therefore she struggles to trust others or depend on them. Through her experiences as a part of the Defenders 4 x 800 relay team, her group project, and experiences with her family, Patty learns the importance of placing her trust in others.
The symbol that best encapsulates this theme in the text is the relay baton. Coach asks Patty to imagine that the baton has magic powers, and that it acts as a transfer of energy between people on a team. Coach says that this transfer of energy and strength between people is key: “we stay balanced” (47). Coach senses that Patty needs more of this balance in her life, and so puts her on the 4 x 800 relay team.
Patty and her teammates experience their share of struggles to work in sync. She clashes primarily with Krystal, but once the girls speak with one another on a more personal level, they begin to trust one another and have each other’s backs. This has a positive effect on their ability to run their relay event, and by the next track meet at the end of the story, Patty shows she has learned the value of that transfer of energy that comes with teamwork.
In the faulty hand-off between runners Brit-Brat and Krystal, Patty’s first reaction is to completely write them off: “This was it. We blew it. I shook my head and huffed” (229). It first seems that Patty’s old anger will overtake her, but then she remembers Coach’s words and realizes “I couldn’t leave my team hanging. They needed me. Not just my legs. But my support. My energy. We needed each other” (229). The outcome of the race is not revealed at the end of the story, but the more important conclusion is that Patty shows that she understands the importance of teamwork.
Patty struggles to pass the baton in her group project at school. Patty, used to taking on more than her share of responsibilities, assumes that she will have to take on most of the work. She laments about group projects that “only one person in the group actually does any work, which brings me to (3) that person is me” (34). Initially Patty does seem to do much of the work for the Frida Kahlo project and dismisses her group members. As she becomes closer to one partner, Becca, however, Patty learns that Becca has asked the teacher to change the project guidelines so that everyone carries a more equal workload.
In her family as well, Patty’s relationship with Momly best illustrates Patty’s unwillingness to “pass the baton.” Momly eventually teaches Patty through sharing her own past that it is okay to accept support from her family, and that she need not take on all the responsibility on her own. Patty’s struggles do not entirely resolve by the end of the narrative, but she does become better capable of handling them when she learns to “pass the baton” and depend on others in her life.
Patty’s experiences at her new school, Chester Academy, articulate the theme of the struggle to fit in. Patty is thrown into this new school setting with peers she struggles to connect with. She views her former neighborhood as a place where people are all “regular” while the students at Chester Academy are wealthy. Patty feels she does not fit in because her past sets her apart from her peers. Instead of going to the mall on weekends, Patty takes on additional responsibilities at home. Still, she wants her peers to “treat her normal” (35).
Ultimately what Patty learns through her interactions with her peers at Chester Academy is that there is no one definition of regular, or one way to fit in. Her attitude towards TeeTee and Taylor changes when she learns that their mothers are both teachers, which suggests to Patty that the girls must not be as wealthy as they try to appear. Patty develops empathy for TeeTee and Taylor because “I understood what it felt like to want to fit in. Or at least to feel like you ‘fit out’” (205).
Patty learns that even those who are wealthy or privileged in some ways may be lacking in others. Becca serves as a model for this with her absent parents, as well as a model for how to be less concerned with fitting in or following the status quo, as shown by her interest in space. Patty and Becca’s struggles are not identical, but Patty recognizes some of her own feelings in Becca: “There was something about her face in that moment that was weird, like something invisible was pinching her unarm. I knew that face” (135). Patty also feels this same sense of struggle and seeing it in Becca makes her feel less alone.
Patty also feels isolated from others on her track team. Along with her friends Ghost, Lu, and Sunny, Patty is new to the Defenders track team. She struggles to connect to her 4 x 800 relay teammates at first since she has always viewed running as a solo pursuit. She learns over the course of the text that to succeed she needs to place trust in her teammates and allow herself to be trusted. Patty does have strong connections on her track team with her friends Sunny, Lu, and Ghost. These are the friends she is the most vulnerable with and shares the most about her personal life with. Despite Patty’s struggles with fitting in in other aspects of her life, there is a sense that with these three she feels most herself and understood.
By the end of the text, Patty learns to worry less about fitting in and to value the connections she has with her family and close friends: “These people. They were my constellation, or however Becca was saying it. The dots all connected” (220). Patty is not suddenly best friends with Becca, TeeTee, Taylor, or her relay teammates. She has, however, learned how to fit in as a member of a team.
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