One of the prevailing themes of Ordinary People is the danger and impossibility of perfectionism. All three members of the Jarrett family do everything they can to maintain the image of the ideal family, which is increasingly difficult to do in the wake of multiple tragedies. Especially for Conrad, the pursuit of perfection ends up being detrimental, as he views anything short of perfection as a complete and utter failure. They all live under the illusion that the standards they set for themselves are achievable, only to inevitably let each other and themselves down.

As the main character, this theme is most evident in Conrad, and his character arc takes him furthest from this flawless ideal. Conrad does his best to be the perfect son, but his constant striving and self-punishment slowly destroy him, culminating in his suicide attempt. While the narrative dances around the reasons for his attempt, it is revealed in the climax that Conrad was trying to embody Buck—the perfect son—and succumbed to the pressure of this impossible task. His visits with Dr. Berger help him realize that control is often an illusion, and it’s healthier to take things as they come and accept that perfection is impossible.