In Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, Gray looks at how men and women talk and listen differently. His main idea is simple: Men tend to be straightforward and solution-focused, according to Gray, while women often speak to share emotions and feel understood. Gray adds that men try to fix problems when they hear about them, which can clash with what women want—someone to listen and empathize.

The book uses the planets Mars and Venus as symbols for these distinctive styles. It’s like men, or “Martians,” are aiming for a target—they want to get to the point and solve the issue. Women, or “Venusians,” might bring up a problem—not to get an answer, but to talk about it and connect emotionally.

Gray points out that one communication style isn’t superior to the other—they’re just different. It’s like speaking two languages under the same roof. Men aren’t wrong for wanting to solve issues, and women aren’t wrong for wanting to discuss them. Understanding this can take the sting out of conversations that might otherwise turn sour.

It’s not just in big arguments where these differences show up. It’s in day-to-day talk, the small exchanges that build or break closeness over time.