The Rules stem from principles of masculinity that suppress vulnerability, and most of the novel’s characters follow The Rules. Will Holloman’s biggest struggle is trying to find an outlet for his grief. In a world that forbids men to weep, not even for their fallen brothers, Will can’t find a way to cope.

The clearest symbol of vulnerability in this novel is crying; it is the first Rule, and the act that most clearly expresses weakness. As Will says, after Shawn’s death, “crying / is against / The Rules” (30). Women are clearly allowed to cry over sudden losses: Will’s mother cries all night, and Leticia, Shawn’s girlfriend, screams in the street over his fallen body. But for men, crying is a sign of weakness, not a way to cope with grief. These principles of masculinity confuse and complicate Will’s emotions; he wants to cry for his dead brother, but he also wants to make his brother proud, to prove that he is man enough to handle this situation the way Shawn would have wanted.

In the elevator, as Will struggles to decide whether he wants to express his grief through violence, many voices argue for a softer, more vulnerable expression.