The theme of whether or not love is worth the pain is deeply ingrained in Instructions for Dancing, as this is Evie’s question to answer and creates the plot’s momentum. Even before her visions, Evie had become withdrawn due to her father’s affair. She feels her father abandoned and betrayed his family. Though she used to believe in fairy-tale love and romance novels, Evie can’t comprehend why anyone would subject themselves to inevitable heartache. Evie’s belief system changed as a result of seeing her father cheat on her mother, causing her to be angry and afraid of opening up.

While Evie contemplates why anyone would pursue love, her sister Danica and their mother Grace both start dating to cope with their new life. Danica is a serial dater, putting her heart on the line without regrets. In contrast to Evie, Grace trusts love despite being hurt and begins dating Bob, telling Evie that she must move on. Evie actively avoids love until she can’t deny her attraction to X. Upon falling for X, Evie can’t stand the thought of losing him, of knowing he’ll die in 10 months—but as her family, friends, the mysterious woman, and X tell her, love is worth the pain.