“Choosing to lovingly care for her was like steering a plane into a mountain as gently as possible. The crash is imminent; it’s how you spend your time on the way down that counts.” 

This passage comes from a scene in which Henry remembers caring for his wife Ethel before she died of cancer. Henry’s refusal to let Ethel die in a nursing home causes conflict with their son Marty, who doesn’t understand his father’s perspective of the world. As becomes apparent throughout the text, Henry has learned to embrace the sweet moments that arise from painful, bitter circumstances. Caring for Ethel is one demonstration of that mindset.

“‘That’s fine. Be who you are,’ she said, turning away, a look of disappointment in her eyes. ‘But I’m an American.’” 

When Henry maintains his distance from America by asserting his Chinese identity above all else, Keiko feels dismayed. It seems that she is searching for solidarity in Henry, for acknowledgement that they are both American, equal and united. That Keiko doubles down on her conviction despite Henry’s disappointing answer demonstrates her pride, her resolve, and her strength of character.

“The lack of meaningful communication between father and son was based on a lifetime of isolation. […] Whatever stumbling methods of communication Henry had used with his own father seemed to have been passed down to Marty.”

One of the novel’s key themes is the nature of father-son relationships. Miscommunication and isolation plagued Henry’s relationship with his father, fracturing it beyond repair. Henry regrets that these same problems have manifested in the next generation of father and son, between himself and Marty.