It’s two days before Nikki’s first day at Westchester Country Day (her new school), and she begs her mom for a new phone because her last school taught her that “having a CRUDDY phone—or NONE at all—can totally RUIN your social life” (6). Instead of a phone, Nikki’s mom gets her the diary she’s writing in, which Nikki swears she’ll never write in again.

Despite her promise at the end of her first entry, Nikki writes more in the diary, adding that she won’t write about her boyfriend or first kiss because that “IS SO NOT [HER]!” (14). Her first day at school went terribly. No one talked to her, and she can’t imagine fitting in at such a snobby school.

Nikki introduces her little sister by writing about how she told her sister that the Tooth Fairy steals teeth to make dentures, which has made her sister terrified of the Tooth Fairy. Late that night, Nikki is still up doing homework when her parents ask her how school’s going. Nikki bursts into tears because she hasn’t made any friends yet, and her parents tell her they love her and not to worry. Nikki is sure they go back to their room to discuss whether they should admit her to a mental hospital and wonders “if you still have to hand in homework when you’re locked up in a PSYCHO WARD” (24).