This chapter begins with a short foreword from George and Harold, who inform the reader that they created “Book ‘Em Dog Man” in first grade. Harold calls this revised version the “extended director’s cut,” and George announces that he “fixed the spelling.” They reminisce about how much their teacher, Ms. Construde, hated their comics, and they show off the angry letter she sent home to their mothers. The letter scolds the boys for their “disruptive” behavior and “disgusting” comic books, and the teacher recommends “psychological counseling” or “some kind of behavior modification drug” (115) to curb their creativity.

The lettering, art, and grammar in “Book ‘Em Dog Man” are noticeably less skilled than in the other chapters. The story opens by showing Petey in jail wondering what makes Dog Man so smart. He escapes and spies on Dog Man, who is reading a book. Petey realizes that reading makes people smart, so he invents the “Word-B-Gone 2000,” a ray gun that zaps the words out of books. Then, he “got in a [sic] airplane and zapped all the books in the whole world!!!” (121). Within 12 weeks, “the world [got] supa [sic] dumb” (122).

At first, Petey enjoys being the only smart person in the world, but he soon becomes frustrated.