“‘Daughters never leave you. Girl is such blessing,’ Second Aunt says.”

Meddy Chan grows up believing in the family curse of absent men. She loves the family she has left—her mother and aunts—and is raised to be both loyal and filial toward them. Growing up, she learned that to be a good daughter, she must remain close to her family, regardless of any desire she may have to leave. That belief now complicates Meddy’s guilt for secretly wishing for more independence, tying into the theme of Familial Duty Versus Independence.

“Am I doomed to stay with them forever, just because I’m the only one not heartless enough to leave?”

As Meddy grows up, she begins to dream about having a life separate from her family. However, because of the curse and her relatives’ comments (see Quote 1), she equates pursuing her own independence with heartless abandonment of her family. Meddy also views the only alternative to leaving entirely as being “doomed” to stay with her family “forever.” At the start of the novel, Meddy is wrestling with what she views as two mutually exclusive perfect opposites: leaving versus staying.

“Though Chris and Annie [Nathan’s parents] are perfectly pleasant, they’re so different from Ma and my aunts that I’m constantly on edge, desperate to make the best impression possible. Conversation with them is somewhat stilted, and I wonder if this is what all English families are like, if they all use words like ‘lovely’ and ‘delightful’ instead of shouting and flapping like my family does. [...]

It’s not even just the stark differences in our families that’s holding me back from taking him [Nathan] home. My whole life I’ve followed all of Ma’s rules. I even chose to stay in L.A. for her. I love Ma, but I also want to be separate from her. [...]

Then, of course, there’s the curse. What if taking him home means it finds me even sooner than it had found my mom and aunts? I’ve tried explaining my reasoning for keeping him away from my family, but each time I just end up verbally flailing, and then the conversation ends with him hurt and disappointed.”

While Meddy and Nathan Chan love each other, Meddy struggles with the contrast between Nathan’s family and her own. Nathan comes from a European and Hong Kong Chinese, wealthy, and refined background; Meddy, meanwhile, comes from a more economically disadvantaged Chinese Indonesian immigrant background.