The narrator, John Coogan, introduces himself by explaining that nearly everyone calls him “Crash.” The nickname came about when, as a very young boy, he received a football helmet for Christmas. He crouched down, called out “Hut! Hut!” and hurtled forward, knocking his cousin Bridget clear out the front door and into the snow.

Crash is digging a hole in the front yard when a boy his age comes strolling down the street, looking like a complete dork in his opinion. Crash must stop him. The boy introduces himself: His name is Penn, and he’s just moved here from North Dakota. He was named for the Penn Relays, a famous race. He says his parents are artists. Crash says his dad works 70 hours a week and his mom works and goes to school. Penn says he has a great-grandfather. Crash says that he has a great-great-grandfather who’s 115.

Penn asks Crash’s name and Crash says, “Mergatroid” Penn offers his hand to shake. Crash holds out his shovel and Penn shakes it and bursts out laughing. Penn wears a large button that says, “Hi, I’m a Flickertail”—the state squirrel of North Dakota—and Crash, frustrated by Penn’s laughing, grabs the button, tosses it into the hole he’s digging, pours dirt on it, and stomps it down with his foot.