The main theme of between shades of gray, and the biggest lesson Lina must learn, is that even in the face of great suffering, brutality, and hate, love is the better choice. Sepetys is very deliberate in her framing of love as a choice one makes. It is not just that she wants us to understand that love can conquer hate in many small ways. It’s that love is hard work and it must be practiced, over and over, as compassion. In this novel, Elena is the most accomplished practitioner of love and compassion, extending it to two of the most disliked characters, the bald man and Kretzsky. And both men are changed for the better as a result.

Elena’s love is also practiced as maternal self-sacrifice, as she literally starves herself to death to feed her children. The lesson that Lina learns from this act of sacrifice is, paradoxically, how much she wants to live. Through Elena’s ultimate act of compassion, she teaches her children how precious life is, how much it matters to “smell the lily of the valley on the breeze” (314) and “to paint in the fields” (314).