Victorian women like Signa faced a myriad of strict social expectations and could face serious consequences for failing to follow rigid yet confusing rules of etiquette (See: Background). Throughout the novel, Signa constantly worries if she is meeting these social expectations and behaving as she should, as the little guidance she has had from her guardians has been conflicting. Signa’s coming-of-age journey thus coincides with her exploration of gendered etiquette and expectations.

When faced with new social situations, Signa almost always searches for her etiquette handbook, A Lady’s Guide to Beauty and Etiquette, one of the few things left behind by her mother. Before meeting with Eliza, Diana, and Charlotte, the narrator notes that Signa “was contemplating every which way she might possibly sneak A Lady’s Guide to Beauty and Etiquette into tea with her” (120), showing how Signa believes this to be the definitive guide to how she should live her life. However, Signa quickly learns that certain etiquette rules are only learned through experience and can’t be written down in a book. At tea, she questions things like “Did she sip too quickly? Was the amount of sugar she added to her tea appropriate?” (120), especially once the other ladies ridicule her for eating too many scones.