1. General Impressions 

Gather initial thoughts and broad opinions about the book.

• How does Avery’s investigation into her grandmother’s past affect her views on her own life and family legacy?
• Compare Before We Were Yours to Lisa Wingate’s 2020 novel, The Book of Lost Friends. How do both novels delve into the nuances of familial relationships amid hardship? 

2. Personal Reflection and Connection 

Encourage readers to connect the book’s themes and characters with their personal experiences.

• Consider the deep bond that Rill and Fern share, and compare their connection to an important relationship in your own life. In your experience, do moments of shared suffering forge stronger connections, or do they weaken the ties of family and friendship? 
• Avery’s relationship with Judy is fraught with a complex mixture of love and the anguish of unanswered questions. Is there an important person in your own family whose past remains unclear? What questions would you ask this person, and how would their answers affect your understanding of your own family history?
• Avery embarks upon an emotional journey of discovery through her investigations of Judy’s past. In your opinion, is she working toward a necessary revelation, or are some secrets better left untold?
• Throughout Rill/May’s experiences, she undergoes a profound transformation.