The subversion of expectations is an important part of the character development in Becoming Nicole. Kelly’s birthmother didn’t expect to become pregnant so young, so she gives Kelly to a relative to raise. Kelly’s cousin finds herself in a similar situation and gives her twin boys to Kelly. Donna, the woman who raises Kelly, isn’t passionate about being a mom. She makes sure the children in her care are fed and safe, but she often isn’t available to play or nurture them in other ways. The cousin who grows up in the same household as Kelly has emotional problems that make family life difficult as well. Through these experiences, Kelly learns not to expect much from one’s family. When one of her boys turns out to be transgender, she is able to cope with the shock quite quickly because she doesn’t have many preconceived notions about what a family should be like.

Wayne, on the other hand, has many preconceived notions about family. Learning that one of his little boys wants to be a girl is a source of confusion, frustration, anger, and sadness. He is disappointed when Wyatt shows little interest in masculine activities such as fishing and baseball, instead gravitating toward tutus and Barbie dolls.