Jeremy waits for the SQUIP to activate, wondering how the computer will enter his bloodstream and access his mind. Rack confirms that he also has a SQUIP, and it said that Jeremy is a chump. The SQUIP activates, and Jeremy begins hearing a voice in his mind that sounds like actor Keanu Reeves. Rack claims it can also be set to other celebrities, such as Sean Connery, Jack Nicholson, or Tyrese. It can also speak in a woman’s voice, but Rack says he found that distracting. The SQUIP causes Jeremy brief but intense pain as it looks through all the information in his mind. Jeremy tries replying to the SQUIP aloud, but it instructs him not to do that and tells him that it has a lot of work to do. A woman comes into the shoe store and complains about the lack of salespeople, and Rack easily charms her. The SQUIP informs Jeremy that since this “TARGET FEMALE” is occupied with Rack, they ought to leave the store (105).

The SQUIP instructs Jeremy to buy a new shirt immediately with his remaining money and his mother’s credit card. It begins to correct his posture and his outdated use of slang, informing him that he needs to “BE MORE CHILL” (108).