Gay met her husband, Billy Gay, on the day he moved to Huntington Beach in 1999. Billy was a successful sports filmmaker who came from a wealthy and prestigious Mormon family. Billy’s father ran a $400 million pharmaceutical company and his family was considered Mormon royalty. His grandfather, Bill Gay, headed the so-called Mormon Mafia that assisted eccentric billionaire Howard Hughes during his most reclusive years. On the day Gay met Billy, he asked her out for a date the next night, shocking Gay with his intentionality. Because he was self-employed, Billy made courting Gay his full-time job, and she fell in love with him quickly. Six weeks after they started dating, he took her on a surprise trip to Hawaii and told her he loved her. Gay describes Billy as the perfect candidate for a husband.

As their romance progressed, Gay grew increasingly sexually frustrated, desperate to consummate her relationship with Billy. When she asked him directly to have sex with her, he insisted that they wait until marriage, promising that after marriage they’d have lots of sex. His response led Gay to believe that marrying him would help her grow spiritually. Billy proposed in March 2000, just three and a half months after they started dating.