The title Are You My Mother? reflects Alison’s lifelong search for maternal love. Throughout her childhood, Alison seeks love from her mother, who struggles to nurture and protect her. As an adult, Alison identifies several candidates who could give her what she desires.

The first is herself. Alison assumes the mother role by initiating conversations with Helen even though Helen dominates most of them. From a young age, Alison becomes painfully aware of the terrible conditions in the Bechdel house. When she overhears Helen crying, she tries to say she loves her in the best manner. However, Winnicott calls this an unhealthy mindset where “mental functioning becomes a thing in itself,” and a compliant False Self develops (133). In Alison’s case, she develops a paralyzing diary habit and an inescapable internal editor that inhibits spontaneity.

When Alison turns to therapy, she meets the maternal Jocelyn and also discovers Donald Woods Winnicott, who she wants “to be my mother” (21). Jocelyn provides a motherly warmth to Alison, assures her that she isn’t a bad person, and exhibits displays of affection like hugging. Through Winnicott’s writings, Alison examines her childhood through an academic filter where events are identifiable and diagnosable. However, neither are able to replace her mother.