Rufus is a complicated character. The opening chapter portrays his suicide and the various tragedies of his life that lead to his decision to jump off a bridge, killing himself because he feels he has no place in the world. Rufus suffers because he is forced to live in a society that does not accept his identity. His race and his sexuality defy social expectations, so his attempts to fit in and conform to social expectations are seemingly impossible. Even when Rufus does try to settle down with a romantic partner like Leona, his alienation and anxiety mean that he cannot allow himself to be happy. He has internalized the hate the world has for him, developing a sense of self-loathing that never leaves him. Society has told him that his race and his sexuality are abhorrent so forcibly for so long that Rufus comes to believe what he is told. He can no longer imagine a world in which the abusers are anything other than right, as his every attempt to live life on his own terms has resulted in misery. As such, he hates himself whenever he is happy. Rufus is a victim of a society that loathes him.