To Stephanie, the most important aspect of her identity is that she is, first and foremost, a mother. Her life revolves around Miles and, at the beginning of the novel, Stephanie’s blog is specifically aimed at mothers. She says that she began it because she felt alone and wanted to reach out to other mothers who felt the same. Part of what makes her feel alone is the pressure she feels as a mother to do everything right. One topic that Stephanie touches on often in her blog is what’s expected of mothers—who they should be and what they should do.

Stephanie understands how this criticism becomes internalized, and mothers begin to judge themselves, always feeling as if they are doing wrong, or not doing enough, or as if everything is their fault. Right at the beginning of the novel, when Emily doesn’t come home, Stephanie nearly manages to convince herself that “the whole misunderstanding is [her] fault” (25). As she says on her blog, “Nothing is easier than convincing a mom that something’s her fault. Even when it isn’t. Especially when it isn’t” (25). Although Stephanie knows that Emily said nothing about being away overnight, her instinct is still to believe that somehow it is her fault for not knowing.